


5 Songs Sung on the Slaked Vengeance

by phnelt



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, Pacific Rim (Movies), Princess Bride (1987), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Road to El Dorado (2000), due South
Genre: 5 Things, Crossover, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 10:04:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17098547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt
Summary: Through the years, Fezzik and Inigo carry a variety of passengers on their ship, the Slaked Vengeance.





	5 Songs Sung on the Slaked Vengeance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kormantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kormantic/gifts).



> Thank you to Rosefox for the beta!

1

Typical Fraser—they'd been on the boat three hours, maybe, and he was already getting the life story of the crew.

“—after I had taken my vengeance on the man who had murdered my father, we had to escape. And I thought, what better life than one at sea.” The captain gave the railing a bit of a smack to emphasize his point. “The ship really named herself. What else would you call your second career after a lifetime in the vengeance business than the  _ Slaked Vengeance _ ?"

“Very poetic, Captain Roberts.” And the kicker was that Ray could tell Fraser meant it. 

“You can call me Inigo. And this is my first mate, Fezzik.” He raised his voice a little to be heard over the wind. Fezzik gave a wave from further down the boat where he was doing something with some ropes. Ray hoped he would never have to understand it.

“It’s been a while since we’ve had any adventures. Nowadays, we mostly run pleasure cruises through eel-infested waters. What about you, my boat-chartering friend?” 

Fraser braced himself on the deck, and Ray settled in for the long haul by trying to burrow further inside of his parka. Jesus, it was cold in the Arctic Circle. And boats just made everything worse.

“Well,” Fraser began, “it is similarly a long tale, but in brief: for reasons that don’t need exploring at this juncture, I have found myself seeking the lost Hand of Franklin with my dear companion, Ray.” Ray tried to wave like Fezzik had, but that involved separating his arm from his torso, so he just flapped his mittened hand a little. “Our investigations led us to a story from a Nunavut local who said he had seen a mast near our destination coordinates. We hope to find some more evidence to convince a diving crew to come out.”

“Don’t insult the boat, don’t insult the boat, Fraser.” There was a lot to insult about the boat. Who was still running a wooden boat in the ’90s? But beggars couldn’t beg hard enough to get a real ship to come take you out to the middle of frozenland this late in August. So the  _ Slaked Vengeance  _ it was.

Miracle of miracles, Fraser heard him and said, “We were very lucky to be able to find such a fine crew to take us out.”

“Ah, I do love a mystery. A story this beautiful calls for a song,” Inigo said

“Do you have any songs about freezing to death?” Ray retorted with maximum sarcasm. “’Cause that’s what it feels like I’m doing.”

“As a matter of fact, Ray,” and before Ray could suggest something maybe a little less ominous, Fraser bust out with,

_Cold is the Arctic sea_  
_Far are your arms from me_  
_Long will this winter be_  
_Frozen in Frobisher Bay_

Well, it was beautiful, Ray had to give him that. Though potentially too realistic. 

\---

2

“OK, so here is the plan. In the dead of night, we grab some provisions, hijack a longboat, and row back to Spain.” 

Miguel, Tulio, Altivo, and Chel had been quickly picked up by the  _ Slaked Vengeance _ . Turned out the undiscovered El Dorado was on a pretty well-known smugglers cove—well known, at least, for Florentines and Guilderians. The captain seemed convinced that Miguel was part of a rival crew and he could maybe get some ransom for them. Chel was unfortunately relaxed about it, and Altivo was just neighing happily into his bucket of oats, so that left Miguel and Tulio as the only ones with a reasonable sense of perspective about just how screwed they were.

Which meant Tulio was the only one with a reasonable sense of perspective. 

“Oh! So you are Spaniards.” Two shadows broke off from the darkness to reveal the captain and his terrifying first mate. Death was imminent. Tulio shot the first mate an involuntary look of betrayal. How could he have missed him? He must be at least eight feet tall.

“In fairness,” the giant said, “you were talking very loudly. We did not mean to listen in.” One does not usually expect fairness from a giant. Tulio mistrusted it.

“I am also a Spaniard!” the captain said. “Come, I will bring out the special Jamon Iberico I have been saving. Good food is wasted on this crew. We’ll feast, I’ll get wine, we’ll get drunk. We can drink to the motherland, sing sad songs of heartbreak. It will be wonderful.”

Miguel perked up. “Do you have a guitar?”

\---

3

Raleigh had set the beacon, and now he and Mako could do nothing but wait, utterly spent. They’d saved the world, but only time would tell if they could save themselves. The world’s navies had been utterly destroyed years ago, and with so few people on the coast, it would take some time to scramble a rescue. They had no water, no food.

He held her and she held him back just as tightly. Fuck it. If they were going down, they were going down singing. He picked a song he liked as a kid, before the kaiju touched anything. Funny, he hadn’t sung this one in years.

_When the sun shines we shine together_  
_Told you I’d be here forever_  
_Said I’d always be your friend_

He hadn’t even made it to the dance break before hands were picking him up. He saw a face and then darkness.

When he came to, it was to a giant looming right over him.

“Ack,” he said gracefully.

“Don’t startle yourself.” The giant gently stilled the hammock he was swinging in. “You’re still very thirsty.” The giant poured a bit of water into Raleigh’s parched mouth. “Your friend is in better shape than you.” Mako waved from a hammock across the hold.

His main questions answered, he waited for his throat to be able to hold some moisture before asking, “The kaiju—”

“Gone,” the giant answered. “Good job.”

“No, I mean, why don’t they bother you?” His eyes crinkle a little.

“They only care about smoke and metal.” The giant cast his eyes lovingly around the hold. “They never cared about the  _ Slaked Vengeance.  _ You rest now.” He put his hand over Raleigh’s eyes and Raleigh felt sleep come up to take him down.

“What’s your name,” he mumbled.

“Fezzik,” Fezzik said. “Now sleep.” So he did. But before he lost consciousness, he could have sworn he heard Fezzik humming,  _ You can stand under my umbrella. _

\---

4

“Maybe they are also out for a pleasure cruise?” Inigo sounded doubtful.

“Maybe.” They both stared at the small craft for another moment. The  _ Slaked Vengeance  _ was on a rare cargo mission and was taking some fine Florentine textiles to Goa. They hadn’t expected to see anyone out this far in the middle of the Indian Ocean. But here it was, this small ship, barely large enough for two to sail. 

Inigo had come too far in life to believe in any coincidences. Coincidence that Westley had been looking for someone to take his ship? No. Coincidence that he had found the six-fingered man? No. Coincidence that Fezzik had found him and nursed him to health? Never. All of those non-coincidences led back to the moment of divine providence when he met Fezzik for the first time.

And with that spirit he pulled out his cone and shouted out to them. “Small vessel! Are you in need?” 

A beautiful woman’s head popped up and she waved back. 

They steered the  _ Slaked Vengeance  _ in closer. 

“Not in need!” the woman shouted as they approached. “But we wouldn’t mind passing an evening with you. Permission to come aboard?” 

Behind her, a slightly disheveled and disgruntled looking man made a bit of a groaning noise. He turned to his companion and said, “Phryne, is it wise to get on a boat with strange men?” He probably thought no one could hear him, but Inigo’s hearing had been honed over many years of vengeance. 

Inigo was hurt that this man thought badly of them. And then he remembered that they were  _ technically  _ pirates.

He called over, “We mean you no harm.” The lady, Phryne, seemed to take this as an encouraging sign and signaled for Fezzik to toss over a rope. She started to clamber over. Oddly, the gentleman reacted the opposite way and tried to pull her back.

“Come on, Jack,” she said. “You can’t tell me you aren’t ready to see some fresh faces?” And he followed her over.

After a couple of glasses of wine, they explained that they had decided to sail, just the two of them, from some land called Australia to India and back. “Australia” sounded made-up to Inigo, who had sailed many corners of the world. But he would let them keep their secrets. Sailing together was dreadfully romantic and their tale reminded him that his life was that romantic all the time because Fezzik was always with him.

So he told them so. And then, perhaps under the influence of the wine—maybe “Australian” wine had been magically strengthened by sprites—he pulled Fezzik in to dance, singing “ No Te Apartes de Mí _. _ ”

Phryne started clapping along, beautifully. He broke away from Fezzik briefly to say, “The lady knows flamenco?” Fezzik headed towards the box where the castanets were kept. 

“But of course!” Phryne said. And taking the castanets gracefully from Fezzik’s hand, she leapt onto the table to demonstrate.

Inigo’s  _ ai-ais  _ and claps could be heard to the horizon.

\---

5

It had been many years, past the point where the speckles in their hair had turned to full grey, and then white. They’d dry-docked the  _ Slaked Vengeance,  _ long since outclassed and surpassed by other vessels. Returning to life on land hadn’t been too much of a hardship; they’d found a pleasant village, overrun with wildflowers and wandering chickens. Every day Fezzik awoke to the novelty he was still alive, and that Inigo was with him. Fezzik was content to sit in his chair, whittling toys for the children who followed him around like ducklings. 

But Inigo. Within Inigo there had been a gathering storm. At first just a few clouds would pass over his eyes, but day by day he would stare out at the ocean for longer and longer, and it was harder to pull him back in to himself, to their life together. Fezzik knew what he must do.

He gathered their affairs, swept the cottage, left a nice note for Pilar who cleaned after them, and got the  _ Slaked Vengeance  _ ready to go.

He brought Inigo down to her. Every step Inigo took, he shed a year, then three, then more, til Fezzik could see the outlines of the vivacious man who had first taken up her captaincy, unsure, but so determined to figure it out. The fire was back. Fezzik knew he had done the right thing.

They were only two days at sea, letting the wind guide them, when Fezzik saw an impossible sight. Dimly, through the mist, he glimpsed a marvelous haven, more fantastic than any he had seen before. Inigo turned to him longingly, and they steered the boat in, moored it.

Then he saw them. A fleet of ships set up for long sea travel, carrying dazzling passengers. And the music—oh! the music—the most beautiful, heartrending songs. He knew none of the words but he felt like he’d been hearing it all his life. It called to him, told him he could lay down his burdens. He reached out to Inigo and found him reaching back. They gripped hands firmly.

A strong voice called out to them, “Are you joining us?” They startled and turned. A tall, beautiful blonde woman stood there next to a very short man.

“Don’t be afraid,” the short man said. The woman just smiled at them, a smile of such beauty and wisdom that Fezzik relaxed.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

The lady gestured languidly towards the water. “We will cross the Belegaer, over Numenor that was, until we reach the Undying Lands.” She turned the fullness of her gaze onto him, and he was pierced. “Will you sail with us?”

“Yes,” Inigo said without hesitation, “we will sail with you.” 

Fezzik knew what it meant, to take this journey. And if Inigo said it was time, they would go together.

So saying, Fezzik and Inigo passed into the West.


End file.
